3+2 is not 5

          Who I am to the world? How can I answer that difficult and abstract question? Well, I really believe that we belong and that we are part of those places where we feel at home, where we feel at peace, where we feel free. Those places that make us feel that we are in the right place. We belong to the places where we have not been, or who knows, maybe we belong to those places where we have been, and where we love to go back. Also to those where we went once and that made us feel very different and strong things. Those places where we feel on top of the world.

 

            For me, these sites can range from simple squares to more concrete places, such as the house on the beach where I have spent all my summers since I was born. I am a person who likes to move, change and travel, but I feel special affection for those "constant" things that I have in my life, and I think these things are the ones that define me in a certain way. These constants are what have made me grow as a strong, creative an open-minded person. But… which are, more concretely, those constants?

 

            The first one I already named. The house we have on the beach. In that place we have grown my brother, my cousins and I; we have learned to walk; our teeth have fallen out; we have lived together for three months a year with my grandparents and uncles… It is a coincidence, but most of my family was born in summer, so almost every birthday we have celebrated there too, and we still doing that. When we were younger we spent the Easter holidays there, and many weekends. In that place I feel really comfortable. I feel that I can disconnect from everything and focus on what matters to me. It is not a very big beach; the village only has people in summer months, so when we have gone during other dates we have been almost alone. It is a feeling I cannot describe, but when I got there my body instantly relaxes. And it may sound stupid, but it is the place where I best sleep in the world. When I have grown up I have taken my friends there and they also feel great when they are there. We usually go one week on Easter and another on summer to relax ourselves and talk about everything.

 

            Now I would like to talk to another “abstract place” where I feel always good and that I think that defines me a lot. It has accompanied me for most of my life, and is a sport: basketball. I have played basketball since I was six years old and I will continue playing until my body holds out. I really feel like I am myself when I have a ball in my hands, when I put on the boots and I go to the basketball field. I know I am not the best player in the world but basketball has taught me a lot of important things that I will never forget. It has taught me how to work and live together in a group, in a team. It has taught me that I always have to keep improving, that if you want something, you should work for it. It has provided me with really good friends, that kind of friends that I know that will be for all my life. It has made me love sports in general, and it also has taught me the taste for healthy life. I have changed from one school to another, I have gone to High School and then to University, but basketball has been always with me. In general, it has taught me a way of life, which I later wanted to convey to others. Because of that, now, apart from being a player, I am a coach.

 

            Continuing with the places that have an important meaning for me and where I feel that I belong, I would like to talk about something special. I made a trip some summers ago that was for me one of the most relevant experiences of my life. It was “El Camino de Santiago”, and although I know that is not an exactly place, I feel that is important for defining myself. I did not do it because of religious reasons, I did it because of spiritual reasons, but spiritual in the way that I knew that I needed a change in my life and I thought that it could be a good thing to reflect. My friends and I embark on an adventure that made us feel proud of ourselves. We finished it and felt really tired, but we felt happier. We met different people and made some friends, and of course, it helped us to make our relationship stronger.

 

            Then, two years later, I had the same feeling than that summer: I needed a change. Because of that, I embarked myself in another adventure and went in an Erasmus. It was this concretely summer. I returned in December 2016, and I am absolutely sure that now I am a different person. This time I did it alone, without my friends, and I grew really fast in half a year. Now, I know that I have to value important things, that I do not have to be angry for stupid and simple things. Now, I know how to be independent. Now, I have learned how to stay with myself and enjoy my own company. Now, I know that I do not need anyone, but I also know that live with others is one of the best things of this life. Now, I appreciate more people who are worth it and ignore those who do not contribute anything. Now, I can enjoy a simple evening in the park next to my house reading a book, and I feel really happy with this. Now, I know that the English language can help me to communicate with people, same or different to me, who lives on the other side of the world. Living abroad has contributed to change my mind, to open it, and to start appreciating things that in the past I totally ignore. Now, I have friends from all over the world. Now, I have learned how important is that the world is inhabited by kind people. Now, I understand even less people who hate and discriminate.

 

            It was in my Erasmus when I had the most important contact with languages. I was in a context in which a language that was not mine was spoken. People talking at the metro, at the supermarket, at the university… I could not understand anything. It was a strange feeling. In addition, Norwegian is not an easy language. But then, we started to communicate to each other; we made new friends and spoke in English. What did I realize then? So, in general, I realized how bad was my English. Hey, stop! Bad? Maybe that is not the word… I think that I realized how hidden I had my ability to communicate in this language, in spite of having a B2 level in this language. I could understand everything they said, more or less with no problems. But at the moment of expressing myself ... What a horror! It took me a long time to talk, my brain was much faster than my mouth, and I saw how the rest did not have that problem. What could I do? Basically, start talking. I tried to separate my fear and my insecurity, and everything was much better. The fact of not being able to express myself as I would have liked continued to be very hard, but little by little I learn that if I did not try, I would never achieve anything. There I realized that English is more than a subject, I realized how languages can open paths and new experiences to us, and I started to take more seriously my English education.

 

            Talking about abstract places… I must name all my books here. Since I learned how to read I am always with a book by my side. I can remember me sitting on the sofa and asking my parents when I would learn to read. I remember the frustration of seeing all of them reading. I had to be content to listen to them. When I finally started reading, I did not stop. Now I have my whole shelf full of books, and part of the floor, since they no longer fit on the shelf. Almost all the money I earn working I spend it buying books, and I feel proud of it. With the books I have travelled to other cities, countries and imaginary worlds. I have read fantasy, juvenile books, fiction books, policy books, books based on real events… I love all of them. I enjoy reading books about war and history, but it depends on the time I read more about one topic or another. I consider that I belong also to the books that I have read since they have made me feel something. With the books I have travelled to other places without moving from my house. I have put myself in the skin of the characters and I have learned a lot.

 

            Places… Important places for me, but… we only belong to those places? Of course not. I also think that we belong to our fights. The things we have fought for. All that we have complained about. The injustices that we wanted to eliminate. Things we do not like also define us, because of that; all that we have vindicated is a part of us. Those fights define what we think is unfair, the things we do not want to live with. Feminism, public and quality education, good living conditions for immigrants and refugees and the recognition of my mother tongue have been and continue to be my most constant struggles. Consequently, these struggles define me as well, and I belong to them. I would like to emphasize, because of the relationship with languages, one of my struggles. The one of the recognition of my mother tongue, Català, or Valencià. I have grown up in contact with both the Castilian and Catalan languages, and I have never been able to understand the contempt the latter has received from society and institutions. Why do they consider one language more important than the other? Languages do not subtract, they add up. I do not lose powers of one to know another, quite the contrary. They help each other. I feel really proud of consider myself as a natural bilingual person, and I think that all of us should feel like this. Because of that, I have participated in many events to vindicate the importance of Valencian in our community. I always go to the “Trobades d’Escoles en Valencià”, since I was a child. I started going such a participant, with my school or my parents, and nowadays I go as a future teacher, and I create workshops and activities to children.

 

            When I finished my Secundary School, I went to examinate myself. I wanted to pass the “Mitjà” exam. I failed it two times. I remember how frustrated I felt in that moment. It was my mother tongue! They were saying to me that I did not have an intermediate level in my first language? How could I understand that? Now I know that this examination, in a way, is another form of oppression towards my language. We do not measure the level of Castilian language that people have in Valencia, why do we have to measure the level of Catalan language? I know that if a Castilian-speaking person they told that they would examine him or her in Spanish it would seem stupid. For me is the same. At the end, I achieve the title, and now I can certificate that I have a “Mitjà” level, (corresponding with a C1), but I still remembering that girl who was sixteen and who felt sad because of an exam. I would say to her that she does not have to worry about it, exams are not always fair, and language are something more than grammatical rules.

 

            In addition, I have always listened to music in my mother tongue. I have grown up going to concerts, that many times where not supported by local institutions, only because they were in Catalan. Now, things are changing. We have a new government that knows how important is for all of us the recognition of our local language. But we still have a lot of things to do. I hope that in a future we will achieve the equality for both languages.

 

            To finish, and retrieving the initial thread, I want to say that we also belong to the people who have meant something to us. People who have marked our lives. People to whom we said goodbye, new people we have added to our life. People who have contributed and taught us something. People who have accompanied us during a time, or throughout our lives. People we do not know but who have influenced our way of being. People we know too much about. New people… People. We humans are social beings, and therefore, I feel that I belong in part to the people who are around me.